Yes?
Sign up for online dating. I’ll send you a link.
Ladies, if you thought it was just you, you were wrong. We guys have all the same issues. In fact, there are too many to count.
There’s the annoying problem of trying to accurately describe yourself in a bio. Hard, isn’t it? Most every app asks me if I’m athletic and toned, slender, or curvy (I know, right!). I’m none of the above. I’m just me.
There are also the same usual starter conversations. The ones that make you groan. You know exactly what I’m talking about.
How are you?
Good.
What do you do for work and fun?
I’m a nurse; not a lot of time for fun.
Do you have any children?
Yes.
End of conversation.
There I stand, scratching my head, pulling teeth to get an answer beyond one word.
This next one happens to us, too.
You click with someone, so you move from app chat to the real deal. You text them. They text back. The dreaded first phone call soon takes place. “This is good,” you think. “They can carry on a conversation.” (Trust me, some can’t.) You hang up after that first call, only to find you were on the phone for three hours.
“WOW!!!” you think.
You can’t wait to meet this person. You set a date as soon as your schedules allow. You’re so excited! And then you get the famous text on the day of the date. You know the one.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to date right now. It’s not you. It’s me.”
“Wait, what?” I wonder, completely bewildered.
There’s also the bizarre date that leaves you feeling dumbfounded. Like one time, this lady showed up to a date and told me she was nervous so she took half an anxiety pill. In the next sentence, she told me she had also mistakenly brought her “one hitter” with her, and since it was “conveniently in her car,” she took a couple hits from it. (I mean, what choice did she have, right?) As we sat down to talk, the alcohol began to flow.
The most common thing I heard that night was, “What was I saying again?”
She went on to tell me that she could barely afford her car payment, her 16-year-old daughter was being homeschooled because she’s pregnant, and her son lives with his dad.
Ummmmm yeah, let’s just be friends.
Another woman asked me to pick her up for our first date. I didn’t think that was an odd request at the time. (I was new to the online dating world.) Big mistake.
On the way to the restaurant, she told me she had gotten a DUI about six months ago, so she didn’t have a driver’s license. (Perhaps a small red flag, but we all make mistakes.) At dinner, she mentioned that she was looking for a new place as her home was in foreclosure. She topped it off by telling me she was currently unemployed.
Ummmm, yeah. Sorry, next. We, too, want you to have your shit together.
I’ve been ghosted, too. You’re happily dating, and poof … you never hear from them again. It drives you bonkers because there are absolutely no answers. (Sound familiar?)
And then, there are the truth witholders. They’re always fun.
I was getting along with one woman just great — until I saw a picture of her with her boyfriend on Facebook. I wasn’t stalking. I was her legit Facebook friend. When I confronted her, she denied it and turned it around on me. Apparently, I had “issues with trust,” and as a result, “this will never work.”
Well no, duh! You have a boyfriend already.
Yes, ladies, this sort of crap happens to guys, too. You’re anything but alone. It happens to the best of us.
My advice is to just keep putting yourself out there. There is hope. To be safe, don’t take down your profile until you have had that “conversation” that spells out that you are in a relationship and that they, too, are no longer going online to “just browse.”
Practice going out on a date if you’re just getting back in the game. At the very least, it will show you what you really do or don’t want in a significant other. Make the first move and don’t be afraid to send the first message.
As I close this article, I’m reminded of a running quote from The Red Green Show, “Remember, I’m pulling for ya. We’re all in this together.” I’m still looking; hopefully you are, too.
Ladies, who do you think has it better in the online dating world — men or women? We’d love for you to share your thoughts!
