Body Love: A Love Letter from 25-Year-Old Me to 60-Year-Old Me

Curvicality Your Stories - Personal, uplifting real-life stories for curvy women, by curvy women.
Body positive writing can breed body love. So why not write a love letter to yourself? Jayne McGee, a 60-year-old body positive advocate, did just this. Here's what she had to say.

Dear Me,

You of all people know that I have had a love/ hate relationship with my body for as long as I could remember. I love the fact that, tired or sick, my body never lets me down, even though I feel that I have let it down on many occasions.

It started when I was younger. Fairy tales told me to ask,  “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”  I never asked because I was afraid of the answer. Even at a young age, I knew the answer was not me.  

Ever since I was young, I have had a weight issue. I thought it would get better as I got older. I was sure that I would “grow into my body,” like everyone claimed I would.

The body shaming started early and came from family.  I grew up with my thinner sister and brother and was raised by my grandparents. Relatives would visit, and with love, praise everyone but me.  I was told, “You are cute but when are you going to lose that baby fat?”

Even though I was the youngest of three, I was also the largest of three. I never had to worry about hand-me-down clothes because I couldn’t fit into my sister’s clothes, not even her socks.  It made me feel bad that my grandparents always had to buy me new clothes. 

One day I heard a relative say, “I can see why everyone is skinny, she is eating all their food.” I ate my hurt with food. Food was my comfort and my friend.

This was the beginning of self hate and body hate that lasted almost 60 years.  I blamed every bad thing that occurred in my life on my body and my size.

If I didn’t have a boyfriend, it was because I was too big. I did aerobics, walking, swimming,  all to lose weight. I had to look like everyone else. I didn’t understand that when men called me “juicy booty Jayne” they were giving me a compliment.  When people would tell men I was dating “you are dating a thick girl,” I went on a crash diet to lose weight. I dressed in black to look slimmer and wore clothes two sizes too big to cover the “fat.”

Then someone asked me, “Why do you wear your clothes so big? I really wish you would wear clothes that fit you.”  I could not understand why they were saying this.  My clothes fit perfectly.  Even my son would tell me to stop wearing clothes that were so loose and baggy. 

One day, I got cast in a play and went with a fellow castmate to buy some “costumes.” I picked up a dress in my size.  Everyone in the store laughed, including my friend. I put the dress down and picked up a size larger. My friend said, “Girl, quit playing and go get your right size.”

I was totally confused because I did get my “right size.” With tears in my eyes, I said “it is my size. I am fat.”  Silence fell upon the store. The sales person gave me a hug and cried, directing me toward a more snugly fitting size. “You do not wear that size dear.  You are curvy and sexy.  I wish I had your body.” 

I was in shock.  My body, she must be trying to make a sale.  I knew I could not fit the dress, but to shut everyone up I tried it on.  I was surprised that it fit, and I looked good, but it was too short.  My legs were too big.  

I stepped out of the dressing room.  Gasps were heard throughout the store. I started to cry. “I told you I would look bad in this dress,” I said.

 My friend took my hand and said, “You look beautiful.  I have never seen this dress look that good.  It fits you perfectly.”  Still crying, I said, “My legs are too big and it is too tight around my breast.”  Laughing, she said, “It fits. You are not used to wearing clothes that fit.” 

As I started to look at myself, I could hear women in the store saying things. I was ready for the “fat jokes” that never came.  Instead, I heard, “I wish I had legs like that!” “I can’t buy that dress, I would not look that good in it.” “Girl, you’re wearing that dress!” “Don’t go out and hurt nobody!”  “She’s gonna steal somebody’s man tonight.”

I could not believe they were saying that about ME! 

In the car after buying the dress, my friend said, “Do you know I would kill to have legs like yours?  Women are getting fat put in their butts for a butt like yours.” 

“Then why do people say, ‘You are thicker then a snicker’?” I asked.

She laughed, replying, “That is a complement. You got it going on, girl! Next week we are going to get you some clothes that fit.”  

After going on a shopping spree for clothes that fit, I began to see myself in a new light.  I had to learn listen to people who say, “I love doing your make-up, your skin is so beautiful. You have natural beauty.” 

I love looking in the mirror now.  I love my hair, my legs, my curves and everything about me.  The way my hair frames my face and the way my nose turns up when I laugh. I love my legs and butt, especially when my friends ask if I could share my butt and legs. It makes me laugh. 

 I love me…60 years later. Every curve and spot are where they are supposed to be. Now I am doing plays, hair shows, concerts, movies and fashion shows. After all, the world needs to see all of this beauty, live and in living color!


You are fabulous, I am fabulous.  Thanks, self, for listening.


Fabulously Loving Me, Finally

Leave a Reply

If you liked this, you might also like these:

Influencers to Watch

3 Reasons Curves Are Left Out of Fashion Week and Why They’re Dead Wrong!

Why is it so rare to see a woman larger than a size 6 on the runways of New York Fashion Week? We always hear the term “body positivity.” We’re told over and over to embrace our differences. So it goes without saying that world-famous fashion events like NYFW should embody these values in every show they produce, right?