Many years ago, I worked with a really attractive and well-dressed young woman who casually noted one day that the only reason she took such care with her grooming was “so other women will respect me.” Her boyfriend, she said, didn’t care how she dressed.
I’ve never forgotten that, and I think she was right in her assumption that, in general, women judge each other far more than men do. A woman will probably notice if your shoes are not up to par, while a man probably will not. (Especially if you’re wearing a low-cut blouse.)
I’ve been home-bound now for weeks now, and I’ll confess I had a few days, especially when I was ill (possibly with COVID-19, but there were no tests in my town at that point) when I didn’t bother to get dressed at all. However, I’ve resolved to get dressed and at least minimally do my hair every day now, even though nobody but my husband, son and dog is going to see me. I’m not doing it for them.
I’m Doing It For Me
This is a depressing time. We are all concerned about our health and our loved ones’ health, not to mention our fears for our personal finances and the country’s economy. None of us knows what is going to happen in the coming weeks. So anything we can do to feel a little bit better is worth doing.
That means, for me at least, getting dressed and styling my hair every day. Seeing myself in a bathrobe with messy hair is a downer. Seeing myself dressed and with my hair at least in a neat ponytail is a plus. Some days I wear leggings and a T-shirt, and that’s fine. Other days, I put on a dress, style my hair and put on makeup. And you know what? I feel a lot better about myself on those days.
Neither my husband nor my son seems to notice or care how I look, and if the dog is judging me, I don’t know it. (She probably is.)
Which brings us to body image. I know this is a subject some plus-size women worry about, but the truth is, almost all women have this in common. Have you ever heard any woman say, “I know my body is absolutely perfect, and I’m completely content with how I look”? I haven’t. I’ve heard slender women complain about being “fat” and I’ve heard beautiful women complain they are “ugly” and I’ve heard women with perfect locks express dissatisfaction with their hair color and style.
Being plus-size is just another thing some of us beat ourselves up about, and I wish we wouldn’t.
If you’re not working during this pandemic, and are spending lots of time alone or with just your immediate family, and you find yourself feeling low, try showing yourself a little love:
- Take a bubble bath.
- Shave your legs.
- Maybe give yourself a facial or put a deep conditioner on your hair.
- Do your hair and makeup.
- Paint your toenails.
- Look through your closet and find a dress you hardly ever wear because you haven’t had the right occasion.
- (Maybe this is a good chance to get another wearing out of a bridesmaid dress or something like that.) This is the occasion! Look in the mirror. You look great!
Now take a selfie and share it with us in the comments below. We cannot wait to tell you how awesome you look.
Sophia Sinclair is Curvicality’s sex and relationships writer and the author of the Small-Town Secrets romance series, available on Amazon. Reach Sophia at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please do post a selfie in the comments!