Does this sound like you?
You’ve finally found someone who makes you want to go right out and buy a bigger bed, all-new panties and a sophisticated espresso machine.
Girl, get a grip.
We once had a friend who changed her personality every time she met a new guy. He liked to hunt; she took it up. He liked basketball; she was suddenly a die-hard fan. He enjoyed gourmet cooking; she’d begin channeling her inner Rachael Ray.
Don’t be that diva.
Being in a new relationship is amazing. But seriously, you’ve got to stay in touch with yourself, too. You already have a life, right? Don’t throw it away and try to become someone else.
Paige Fieldsted Hoffman and her husband, John Hoffman.
Here are our six tips to do this whole new relationship thing right.
Take time out for yourself.
It’s easy to want to spend every waking moment aside from work with your new love interest. However, doing this is not healthy.
You had a life before the new person came along. Remember that. Yes, some things will change and that’s cool. You might pick up some new interests you really enjoy. That said, you’ve got to be true to yourself.
If you love working out several days a week or have a book club you enjoy, don’t drop them. Find balance.
Unhook your claws.
Ever met that girl who wants to be the center of her new love’s universe? Ugh. It’s awesome to feel needed, but don’t take over his or her life to the point that he or she resents you.
If he’s got that once-a-week poker night that he loves, don’t pester him to hang out with you instead. Just like you, he has his own life, too. Don’t expect him (or her) to drop everything for you.
Victoria Jacobs and her SO.
Don’t try to be a fixer-upper.
If you bought a vintage Victorian home, would you try to turn it into a midcentury ranch? Do everyone a favor and just buy the ranch. The same goes for a new love interest. Date the person who is already what you want.
Men are not remodeling projects. Neither are women. You liked this person for a reason. Don’t try to stamp out every individual characteristic that attracted you in the first place.
Oh, and also, make sure you don’t choose someone solely because they have a quality you wish you had in yourself.
Don’t change who you are to suit the new S.O.
Remember the story we told you at the beginning of this article? Just as you shouldn’t try to change everything about your new S.O., you should not allow your S.O. to try change everything about you, either. How about nobody tries to rebuild anybody, mkay? That’s not to say you can’t broaden your horizons by picking up new things … and we hope you can see the difference.
Amber Shanae Brooks and Lee – Photo credit: Erica Jean Photography
Don’t neglect your gal pals.
They do not exist merely to fill in the gaps in between lovers. Value them for the important part they play in your life, no matter what stage of life you are in. (If it doesn’t work out with your new love, who do you think will be there to commiserate with you when you need support?)
Don’t rush to move in together.
We’ve all known that woman who is in a rush to cohabitate. It starts with just a couple of things, maybe a hair brush and curling iron that kind of stays there. Before you know it, she’s brought a suitcase and unveils her plans for an elaborate new living room. (If you come home and find a new throw pillow on your couch, this could be a sign of things to come.)
Take it slow. What’s the rush? Very few people say: “Gosh, I wish we’d gotten really serious faster!” You’ll get there eventually if you should be getting there.
Do you have tips to do this whole new relationship thing right? Share them here.
