It wasn’t always this hard. I had a good childhood with lots of friends, did well in school, etc. Maybe you can relate. You get into the teen years and you start to realize you don’t look like anyone else. You hear the whispers. You hear the laughs. And this begins the cycle of low self-esteem.
You start to date, you fall in love, you get your heart shattered into a million pieces and your self-esteem gets a little more fractured, until your self-esteem has these huge cracks and it allows all those insecurities to creep in.
I get it! “I’m not pretty enough,” you think. Or maybe you think something like, “If I just changed, things would be better.”
Fast forward a few years and you have suffered losses and made mistakes. It’s all part of living a full life. I call these my war scars, but if we allow all these scars to affect us then we are left with this big hole. And it’s a scary place to be.
Some of us get married and have children, and then you wake up one morning and you don’t even recognize the woman you see in the mirror.
Life can be overwhelming when you’re depressed.
Have you ever reached this point? It’s been days since you’ve showered, you can’t remember when you last had a good night’s sleep, the laundry needs to be done, dinner has to be made, and then your child’s teacher wants you to build a freaking three-story structure out of household items. All you want to do is go sit in a closet and cry, but you can’t because they always find you. Heaven forbid you don’t make your kid a four-course meal for lunch.
And yet, if you look on social media, it appears everyone else is doing just fine. That’s because social media sucks. It’s a lie. I’m happy if I get a shower in and can find clean underwear — and the same is true of many other women who post happy pictures of themselves online.
The reality is it’s freaking hard to be a woman. All the pressures in today’s society can make you need a Xanax prescription, and some of us just don’t have the tools in our box to properly manage all these stressors.
Hello Depression, and her friend, Anxiety.
While I hate anxiety, at least I can semi function with proper care, but depression is another beast. It’s a constant struggle and every day you make that mental decision to get up! It’s emotionally draining. You lose friends, miss out on events, feel guilty about everything, feel like you failed at motherhood.
Stop! Girl, I’m talking to you! Honey, you are a badass woman and you are worthy. You matter. Every hot mess morsel of your body! Listen, I’m proud you got your ass out of bed. I’m proud you fed your kids. I don’t care if it was a boxed meal you bought 10 minutes before the bell rang.
Your children will live, and they will arrive at school on time.
Listen when I say this. It starts with you. You write your own story.
Screw what society thinks you should look like, how you should parent, what you should eat. Who the heck cares? You do you, Boo. Own it. Take time every day to celebrate the baby steps.
So you have a love/hate relationship with your body. That’s OK! Every day counts. Take 10 seconds every morning to look that badass woman in the eyes and tell her you love her. Tell her she is enough. And make sure you accept the imperfections. I promise you, your attitude will change, and then you will start to believe it. This is where the magic happens.
There are two things I remind myself of every day:
- If I don’t love me, how do I expect anyone else to love me?
- When I allow myself to think those horrible things about myself, I ask myself whether I would say them to my daughter or best friend.
I want you to think about that.
If you’re a woman who finds it difficult to love herself — or even if you sometimes hate yourself — embrace your true self. Rise from the ashes and join our tribe of badass women! It’s OK just to be you.