I remember that day back in 2011 very clearly. I had just finished a training run for my first half marathon at a park and decided to stop in a nearby Target before I went home. I was still wearing my workout clothes: a tank top and spandex Bermuda-length shorts and running shoes, because it was damn hot. As I was entering the store, two cute and tiny twenty-something girls pointed and laughed at my “fat ass” in my running shorts. And it crushed all 230 pounds of me.
I had only recently started to strip away the layers of clothing that would keep my body hidden, making me feel safe. I had felt like the more clothing that covered me, the less “normal” people would see my rolls jiggle as I ran, providing less opportunity for the “real” athletes to judge me as they effortlessly glided past me on the recreation path.
I knew from my time working out in globo-gyms and playing high school softball that big people weren’t considered real athletes. But as I spent more time training for my race, I started to worry more about my own comfort affecting my performance. My baggy pants were tripping me up, and wearing a hoodie was making me sweat more than I needed to.
We have been programmed from a young age to believe that people who are considered “athletes” have compact, tight bodies. Some are thin and others are muscular. Only football linebackers are allowed to have fat as a form of protection from the beating they continuously receive on the field. You can’t be considered a real athlete if you don’t fit into Lululemon or have six pack abs.
Plus-Size Athletes Are True Athletes Too
It took me a long time to stop believing that crap and believe in myself and what my body could do. And it’s about time you do, too.
Those girls at the store didn’t know me. They didn’t know what it was like to struggle with your weight your whole life. They didn’t know I had a family with small children and a very stressful and demanding job. But most importantly, they didn’t know how hard I have been working to call myself a “runner.” I was just an easy target to literally be the butt of their jokes.
I cried a little and moved on. And I continued to move.
I not only finished my first half marathon later that year, but continued to run five more after that. I was a slow runner, for sure. During the six years I was doing my half marathons, my weight fluctuated between 200 and 240 pounds. But I loved the heavy feeling of that medal around my neck and the elation of crossing the finish line with my girls and my family waiting for me.
How many medals do you have, Target Girls?
After proving to myself that I was a “real” runner, I wanted to tackle another sport. To tell you the truth, I really hated running and I got bored. So, I threw myself into another uncomfortable situation: CrossFit. I couldn’t do a pull-up to save my life. Burpees make me puke. And jumping rope makes me pee my pants (thanks kids!). CrossFit, or functional fitness, is an intimidating sport on its own, but with the promise of scalable workouts I set out on my quest to become a CrossFit athlete.
I was lucky enough to find a gym or “box” that was super friendly and with members of all shapes, sizes and ages. I competed in the CrossFit Open a few times, always at the bottom of the leaderboard, but it didn’t matter much to me. If I walked in the gym and did the work, I felt like an athlete. It was also there that I discovered my passion for Olympic weightlifting.
Throwing weights over my head is such a freeing experience. It doesn’t matter what I look like or what the scale says (unless I was aiming to compete in a particular weight class). The sport has men and women of all weights and ages. It has given me the opportunity to stand on a platform and compete. It doesn’t matter what the scale says because when I lift, I feel weightless and strong at the same time.
Don’t wait for that larger-bodied role model to show up. That person is already here; it’s you. If you put on running shoes and go for a jog (even if it is run/walk intervals), you are a runner. If you get on a bike and ride, you are a cyclist. It doesn’t matter what the “Target Girls” of the world think. We are all athletes, no matter how much fat we have. You are the only person you need to prove it to.
