I talk to women about their bodies all day long. In the process, I hear a recurring comment: “He (or she) really loves my body.”
OK, but do you really love your body?
I get it. I’ve struggled with this too. I’m in a new relationship and sometimes I feel like he loves my curves more than I do. It’s a wake-up call that has reminded me of all of the times I’ve relied on a man’s opinion of my body as a substitute for my own confidence.
The truth is, many of us fall into a mentality where we feel almost lucky that our partner finds us desirable. We feel as if we aren’t worthy of love because we’re not the size society deems acceptable. We feel flawed because we’re not the size 2 to 8 that mainstream media celebrates.
That’s a very dangerous road to walk.
Of course it’s human nature to seek out acceptance, but self-acceptance based on a partner’s opinion can be toxic. It’s temporary and not rooted in your own sense of self-worth. The power is completely in someone else’s hands.
You deserve to take up space and feel sexy and confident about yourself. You deserve to feel worthy of body love, and not because your partner thinks you’re gorgeous, but because you’ve found that spark within YOU. Your self-worth and body confidence should not be dependent on your partner.
Think of it like this. If you walk away from your partner tomorrow, would you feel as good about your body as you do today? If the answer is no, that’s a red flag.
To be clear, yes, you should celebrate healthy relationships and supportive partners. However, you have to be able to stand on your own two feet. And body love needs to start with us.
When you’re struggling with this concept, take some time out to spend with your body. Go back to the basics. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself. This doesn’t have to be limited to body compliments. It could be things you adore about yourself. (I.e., I love my sense of humor.)
In addition, take time out to be grateful. Gratitude is a great way to shift perspective. Acknowledge the little things your body does. You’re breathing, right?
Love your body for all it does, not just what it looks like. It does a hell of a lot for you on a daily basis. That right there is a reason to give your body love.