Lots of people do have a type they’re drawn to, and that type isn’t necessarily limited to tall, dark and handsome. I have a friend who used to like tall, skinny guys with large Adam’s apples (and no, I’m not kidding!) Who did she eventually marry? A not-so-tall guy without a large Adam’s apple.
If you were to line up all the loves of my life, well, first of all, you’re going to need a bigger room. But once you’d secured a large enough staging area, you’d notice that if you tried to characterize them in any way, the only common denominator would be “male.” I have no physical type. I like men who are kind, intelligent, honest and funny.
Of course, sometimes you like what you like. I’ve seen more than one widower marry a woman who so closely resembles his lost wife that everyone who meets her does a double-take.
Are you limiting yourself?
But if you’re single and not happily so, it’s worth asking whether you’re limiting yourself. Physical attraction is, of course, important. But just consider one thing: Which comes first? If the very first thing that attracts you to someone is his (or her) physical appearance, we all have a tendency to be generous in ascribing wonderful qualities to that person — qualities that person may or may not actually possess. It might take you a while to decide that no, that person does not in fact meet your standards in personal qualities.
Dating outside your type.
If you decide to date someone based on that person’s stellar personal qualities, his or her looks may start to appeal more to you over time. As a teenager, I once fell for a guy who was smart and funny but not particularly handsome. Still, even now, if I look at an old picture, I tend to have to work at it to see him objectively. His personality superseded his looks. By miles. (Note to husband: I did not date as a teen at all. I was saving myself for you.)
Are you in denial about having a type?
You might know you have a type, or you might deny it. First, ask your best friends, who will know. If it turns out you do have a specific type, is this something you’re content to leave well enough alone? Are you determined that your future husband shall be muscular, 6’ 1” with brown hair and hazel eyes? Or could he be 5’ 10” with blond hair and blue eyes? Does he have to be muscular, or musical, or agree with you on your 47-item checklist? (Note: If you have such a list, you don’t need to ask your best friends if you have a type. You do.)
We all have that one friend who has an entire checklist that covers, looks, personality, hobbies, career, sports team preferences, tattoos, reading and movie preferences, fashion sense and a dozen other things. And there is a name for people like this: Singles.
And that’s not necessarily bad! Only you can decide whether you want to date that tall, skinny dude with the prominent Adam’s apple.
Sophia Sinclair is Curvicality’s sex and relationships writer and the author of the Small-Town Secrets romance series, available on Amazon. Reach Sophia at firstname.lastname@example.org
Our model is Evelyn Ceballos @mrsceballos16 with husband Luis Ceballos.