When I was a young girl, I I would wait until my mom was in another part of the house and sneak into her bedroom. My parents had a huge walk-in closet with a stool in the middle. I remember being fascinated by all the clothes and shoes.
I would climb onto the stool to reach the top shelf where she kept her hats. Some were in boxes, others were out on display. Clumsily, I would slip into her shoes, throw one of her dresses on and put my feet in her heels that were, of course, too big. Then, I would walk in front of her full-length mirror and model her clothes.
Most times if I heard her walking up the stairs, I would run and hide in between the hanging garments. Granted, she knew I was in there because I would start giggling. She would say, “Girl, what are you doing?” I would emerge and say, “Playing dress up, Mommy!” Then, when I was really adventurous, I would play in her makeup. One time I even smeared her lipstick all over.
My mom would just laugh.
As I grew into an adult, like most mothers and daughters, we had our share of arguments about what she thought was cute versus what I thought was cute. But then again, that’s common with mothers and daughters. Why? Because you’re coming into your own. This was my time to shine.
We may have clashed, but the women in my life always wanted me to look good. I remember when I would buy clothes as an adult and come home, and my mom (as most mothers do) would be nosy and snoop. Sometimes I didn’t mind, but other times I seriously wanted her to mind her business. Seriously, most mothers … they can’t help it.
But, one solid piece of advice was given to me, a piece of advice I want to share with you today: Find your own style.
Find Your Plus-Size Personal Style
One day as I was leaving the house, my mother said, “Kandis, just because it’s fashion doesn’t mean it’s for you. Find your own style.” Now that may seem a bit much, but as I got older I saw what she meant. I would pick stuff up and buy it just because I thought it would look good on me, only to get home and see that it was the total opposite.
Finding your own style is about realizing that it’s OK to be strategic in your choice of clothing. In fact, it’s a way to take ownership of your style. For example, what is your body type? Are you round? Pear shaped? Are you bigger in some places versus others? Study yourself. Hey, just because it’s on that mannequin when you walk into that store doesn’t mean it will fit YOU in the right places and do on YOU what it’s doing on that mannequin.
Celebrate You!
I’m not saying that you can’t wear what you want. You know we’re all about celebrating our own style here at Curvicality. I’m saying that you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you see something on a mannequin, try it on, and think it looks awful. That’s part of the process of finding what you love.
As plus-size women, we’re so hard on ourselves. We turn a great day into a bad body image day because we think we should look a certain way. There’s no reason to fret if one outfit doesn’t work with your curves.
So today, here is my advice to you: Let your choice of clothing reflect who you are as a woman. Your persona, your charisma. What do you want to convey when you step into the world? Dress like it!
Take risks. If you want to rock that bikini, do it. If you want to strut your stuff in those faux leather leggings that are popular this season, go for it. But do it for you, not because it is something you “think” you should do.
If you’re struggling to find your style, take a look at where your favorite influencers shop. Or, look at the brands Curvicality showcases in our fashion section. Piece together items that you love and wear them with pride. You’ll probably find patterns in fit, which makes shopping easier.
And as always, be your fabulous Curvy Self. Dress for you, not for anyone else. Be adventurous. And don’t worry, I’ll share more about style in future columns.
Peace,
Kandis
About the Author: Kandis Draw is on the advisory board of Curvicality. She is a cancer support advocate, classical pianist, and lover of all things sparkly.
