Looking to Settle Down? You Gotta Shop Around

Curvicality Sex, Dating & Relationships - Advice and how-to about plus-size dating, marriage improvement, and intimacy.
Men are like houses. When you’re looking at the local real estate ads, every place looks appealing. 

This one has a pool! This one has a brand-new kitchen! Oooh, this one has an amazing master bedroom suite!

Then you attend a few open houses. The house with a pool? That pool has a leak. The house with the brand-new kitchen? Turns out the bathroom hasn’t been redone in 30 years. The place with the amazing master bedroom suite? I don’t know, but something is wrong with that place. Mark my word. If it’s not a plumbing issue, it’s a living room with red flocked wallpaper.

There are no perfect houses, and there are no perfect men. But you aren’t perfect either, sweetie. So get the best deal you can. Mama was right when she said, “you gotta shop around.”

If you don’t want to get stuck with something that shouldn’t ever have been put on the market in the first place, you have to know what to look out for. Here is Curvicality’s tongue-in-cheek guide to buying a house/picking a man:

The Fixer-Upper

This is a man who needs a little work but might turn out great if you’re willing to put some time in. Maybe he has a drama-queen ex you’ll have to deal with. Maybe he’s mid-way through his degree and has a ton of student loans to pay off. Don’t take on a project that is never going to pay off, but don’t refuse to even take the tour. You might decide to take a hard pass. But you might find a treasure.

The Starter Model

Maybe you’re young and not ready to settle down. You don’t want to get married. Maybe the guy isn’t Mr. Right, but is he Mr. Right Now? Don’t mix him up with your ultimate goal, but he might be a good guy to spend some time with, especially if you yourself could be considered not exactly perfect wife material just yet.

The Aspirational Choice

Maybe this one is just a little out of your league. You’re not even sure you’d qualify for the loan. But wow. You show pictures to all your friends and they agree it’s worth going for it, even though you might not ultimately be able to close the deal. Make an offer and see what happens!

No Challenges Here

You could move into this house, er, marry this guy tomorrow. He’s perfectly ready. No challenges. But … are you sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Maybe you should look around a little bit more. Perhaps you’ve found the right fit. But you don’t want to regret having settled down too soon. 

Hot on the Market

If you wait too long to make a move, some other woman might snap this one right up. Don’t assume the offer will be open indefinitely. If you see what you like, go for it. Especially if you’re looking, potentially, at the deal of a lifetime, realize that someone else might also see exactly the possibilities you see. Don’t lose out!

The Charmingly Quirky One

While everybody else is searching for pretty much the same thing, you might be unsatisfied with the same old, same old. Maybe you long for something more exotic. Something with no comparables. Something most would pass by. Why settle for the basic model if you want something unlike anything all of your friends have?

Rent or Buy?

This is a very important decision. Are you looking at a temporary or permanent move here? Know before you invest!

Get an Inspection

Your friends can help save you from a bad decision. If you’ve lost your head over the perfect possibility, see what your besties think. Do they agree that this is The One? If not, keep shopping.

How did you know you’d found The One? Share your story with us!

Sophia Sinclair is Curvicality’s sex and relationships writer and the author of the Small-Town Secrets romance series, available on Amazon. Reach Sophia at sophia@curvicality.com.


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