Is it because we are too busy being Mom? Or perhaps it is the loss of any hope that we are worthy of more? This is my story of how I found my hope and learned I am worthy of more.
I was once an active, outgoing and funny single mom.
My two daughters and I are very close. I work hard and support them in every aspect of their lives. In 2017, I was hindered by severe asthma and a 16-day hospital stay that nearly cost me my life. I began to accept that who I once was would be lost. Depression settled in. It deprived me of all desire, will and emotion. All I could bear to do was lie on the couch. Sadly, I became too comfortable there.
My daughters helped the best they could. I wanted desperately to find myself, to be the independent, active mother I once was. I had so many thoughts and ideas on how I could, but sadly I grew accustomed to my situation … so much so that a part of me was afraid of change.
From hospital stay to a new healthier me
I needed just one thing that could potentially start me on my new path. The answer, for me, would be eating a healthier diet. So I wouldn’t be doing it alone, my eldest stuck with me. Together, we conquered the worst parts of this new way of eating and continued to maintain it. Now I was on my path.
Three years later, this now healthier and more confident mom began to see that 57 is not old and then realized there is so much more to life! The once “just Mom” was seeing things from a whole new point of view. Social media is my “go to” to pass time and every once so often something catches my eye and smacks me right back into my past. For me, it was memories of being 17 again and my days with neighborhood friends. Social media helped me reconnect with many of them.
Connecting with Old Friends on Social Media
One day while reaching out, I came across someone familiar. I was teeming with curiosity and butterflies and in an explosion of excitement I sent out a request. Acceptance of it and a few quick catch-up questions were all it took. Since then, we’ve conversed for hours, reminiscing about our childhoods. My old friend has given me reassurance that I am without a doubt worthy of happiness.
The Boy Down the Street
As a teen in the 1980s, I experienced my first crush and first kiss with my best friend’s younger brother. He was that neighborhood bad boy, a punk rocker with spiked hair and a black leather jacket. We would sneak into the attic to make out every chance we got! We had no idea, but we were creating memories that would always remain tucked away inside our secret place. No one forgets their first kiss or first love. Unfortunately, as most do, we grew up. We moved away and lost touch as life moved on.
That boy down the street lived his life fast and hard. He had always dreamed of playing music, being on the radio and living the good life in Los Angeles. What he didn’t know was that his life was about to spiral out of control in a huge way, with brain trauma and a coma. Most people can’t imagine the repercussions.
Renewing a Lifelong Connection
But his new awakening has vague pieces of his past, things he should know yet sadly he struggles to remember. He is solving his own puzzle, unknown piece by unknown piece, until some of the fragmented bits are joined together and a fleeting memory can become clear. For the boy down the street, a smell, a color, a voice are always related to thoughts so close but unobtainable. Will it all become clear someday? Will he not just remember in fragments, but know entirely what we shared?
Those young kids kissing in the attic, the color you know, the smell of shampoo and lemons, all bits and pieces started falling into place. Peach was the color of my house, shampoo and lemons was my hair. I am the girl up the street! He has, after all this time, through his hardships, been remembering me, piece by piece for his whole life!
Despite everything we have been through collectively, we found a way to meet halfway on the road of life. The boy down the street and the girl from up the street. Together, we are making memories in a new “attic” and have only just begun live! I hope that my story inspires all women to bring a new perspective into their lives and relationships.